Saturday, June 5, 2021

How to reconcile the care for others versus the care for self

It’s common for me to see folks who are constantly in an internal struggle between the thoughts of “How can I help” versus “What about me”. 

It’s a real inner tug of war at times. The care for others versus the care for self. 

Some of you may be able to relate to this phenomenon perhaps.

How do we get out of this inner struggle? Understanding and awareness first may help.

Like a computer program, when one criteria is in conflict with another, we must instruct it to go somewhere, and not be stuck in limbo. Being in limbo is often worse than bad news.

When we are in this inner struggle, we might freeze, and just as problematic, we might flight or fight with those around us who we care deeply about.

When “looking after others” is in conflict with “looking after self”, look after self first so that we can then look after others more effectively. It’s not the same as being selfish. But caution regarding leaving it too late, as the fight or flight response will rear its head with negative consequences. 

So please consider “recoding your code” around selfcare perhaps.

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