Mindfulness, zooming out and into our thoughts and feelings

As Family Doctors, we see a lot of people with worry.   But worry is not necessary a problem. It’s the “titration” that is the issue.

Like stress, too little stress is a problem with performance. Too much stress is also a problem with performance.

So how do we “titrate” the degree of stress or worry that is required for any given context?

With great difficulties, but we can try with a bit more emotional literacy.

Titration requires zooming in and zooming out.

The more we fused or zoom into a thought or feeling, the more we judge, stress, or worry about that.

The more we defuse, detach, or zoom out from a thought or feeling, the less we judge, stress, or worry about that.

Mindfulness helps one to “hold space” for the thoughts and feelings without getting sucked into the “vortex”.

Processing and working with the thoughts or feelings rather than being engulfed by them through excessive fusion or zoomed in. 

So good titration requires mindfulness along with good zooming in and zooming out functions.

What relationship do you have with your mind?

In counseling work, we often see a number of relationships that people can have with their minds. 

They can fight with their minds.
They can be a slave to their minds.
They can suffer in their minds.
They can try to escape from their minds.
They are at peace with their minds.
They have a “healthy distance” with their minds and can use it as an effective tool.

The last two are the least tiring.

Helping people to make peace or create a healthy distance with thoughts and feelings in their minds, is a significant part of counseling work.

The question is, what relationship do you have with your minds?

Accepting the Unacceptable..written by our Guest Psychologist Dr Julia Becker Waco Texas USA

Kate had been diagnosed with a serious health condition that changed the course of her life.  She was overcome with thoughts about the unfairness of the situation, the difficulties she would face, and her unknown future.  As she became depressed, friends and family said she needed to “accept” her condition.  Have you ever been told you needed to accept something that seemed so terrible that you wondered how anyone could accept it?  Or have you been told that you can’t “let things go,” whether this is criticism, negative feelings about yourself, or daily stressors that replay in your mind?  Part of being human is having the ability to think and plan.  Although this is a good thing, excessive negative thinking can lead to depression and prevent us from reaching for our goals and desires. 

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a type of therapy that addresses these issues, with a focus on thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. One major goal of ACT is to help people remove the obstacles caused by problematic thoughts so that they may pursue goals they value.  For example, a man may avoid socializing because he tends to be “awkward” in social settings.  This feeling of awkwardness prevents him from developing meaningful friendships, which is something he greatly desires.  In another situation, a woman may have a great desire to exercise, but believes that others at the gym will be judging her negatively because she is overweight. 

ACT counselors do not try to directly change thoughts.  Instead, the goal of ACT is to change a person’s reaction to these thoughts in order to remove the barriers that the thoughts create.  In the case of the man who avoids socializing, the ACT therapist will not challenge his belief that he is socially awkward.  Instead, the therapist will work with him to accept his awkwardness and find ways of connecting with others despite this feeling of awkwardness.  In the case of the woman who is overweight, the ACT therapist will not challenge thoughts that others are viewing her negatively as a result of her weight.  Instead, the therapist will work with the patient to help her accept her weight, accept that others may sometimes judge her, and learn ways to overcome the obstacle of feeling judged.  The ACT therapist uses various treatment techniques  to accomplish these goals. 

A core part of ACT is mindfulness. Mindfulness refers to the process of being fully focused on the present moment, without thoughts and concerns about the past or future.  When a person learns to be mindful and practices mindfulness regularly, thoughts lose their ability to sculpt that person’s emotions.  Mindfulness is also used to help people cope with their painful internal experiences, including physical and emotional pain.  Mindfulness means simply experiencing the pain without judgment or negative thoughts.  For example, an ACT therapist will help someone with chronic pain be mindful of the sensations without allowing negative thoughts to dominate their mind.  Negative thoughts may include “This pain will never get better,” “I can’t handle this,” or “Something bad is going to happen to my body.”  Because research shows that emotions and thoughts increase the experience of physical pain, mindful acceptance is an important part of therapy with individuals who have chronic pain.  Similarly, mindful acceptance of emotions such as anxiety, sadness, and anger is also taught in ACT.  People with depression and anxiety often judge their emotions and criticize themselves harshly for having emotions, which only strengthens and maintains depression and anxiety.  The ACT therapist teaches patients to be mindful and accepting of the ebb and flow of emotions.  ACT has shown effectiveness in helping people cope with certain chronic illnesses as well as reducing depression and other mental health conditions.

Dr Julia Becker
Licensed Psychologist Waco Texas USA
http://www.psybecker.com/
http://www.beckerpsychology.blogspot.com/

Get into the "flow"

In positive psychology, they call it "flow".
Some people call this "being in zone".
Some refer to this as a form of mindfulness practice.
Some call it "being in the moment".
Some can relate to this when they do something with enthusiam, focus, or passion.

When you are in the flow, you are happier, less stress, and more efficient.  You are moving towards a clear goal but you are not "obsessed"or "worried" by it.  You are more focused on the process or the journey more than the goal itself.

Most of us can relate to this state of mind from time to time.  The trick is to be aware of it and use this mindset as often as we can. 

In essence, it is about focusing on the journey rather than the destination.

Stop, think, before we do!

There is an old chinese saying..."Believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see".

It reminds us all that our past conditioning and belief system can really change the way we view the world, and our so called reality. A deeper understanding of this may help us to stop, think, before we react to the perceived reality and the drama around us.

So a useful tool is to stop, think, before we do!

This teaches us to some extent, to become more mindful.

Life is a Journey, Not a Destination

Life is a Journey, Not a Destination is a well known quote that most of us know, but are unable to practice consistently.

We are living in such a goal orientated society that we do forget to smell the roses.

Try to be in the moment whenever you do something.  Put yourself in the "flow" of it all.  Some sport people describe this as being in the "zone".  Remember that if you focus on the journey ie the present moment through your five senses, it does not mean that you cannot focus on the destination as well.  All it means is that the main focus is still on the journey.  Most of us can relate to this to some extent, so I know that most of us have the ability to cultivate this mindset.  This is in essence one of the concept of "mindfulness".

Try it out.....

Anxiety....How to Manage it

Part of dealing with anxiety is to understand it, embrace it, and manage it.  Remember, anxiety can be use for good or bad.  It can be used to achieve great things, but it can also burn us out as well.

Try and explore......

1 Mindfulness or "self awareness".

2 Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).  Many people do find acceptance difficult as it goes against the core fibre of our society of trying to fix everything.  This form of therapy focuses on acceptance rather than just fixing.  Sometimes I refer to this as "Tai Chi Psychology".  Sometimes you cannot fight force with force.  You may need to embrace it, and channel it elsewhere useful.

3 Take time to understand yourself, your core values, and your "conditioned mind".

4 Knowledge is not enough.  You must apply it repetitively and consistently until it becomes habit.  Some people can do this by themselves, and some will need a health professional.  Just like some people can learn how to play a guitar by themselves whereas, some will need a tutor.  I would advise you to do this under a guidance of a Therapist/Doctor if possible.

5 Certain medications like Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) can be useful but unfortunately, is not the complete answer.  Please talk to you Doctor about this.

6 Certain short term medications like benzodiazepines can help you to relax, but may cause dependence issues.  Long term use should be avoided.

7 Eat well and exercise regularly.

8 Consider regular meditation or incidental mindful practice.

9 Maintain good sleep.

10 Open to receiving support from your friends and family.

11 Consider a support group.

12 See your Doctor to rule out any physical problems like thyroid disease, sleep apnea, anaemia, iron/b12/folate deficiencies.