Monday, January 20, 2020

Tips for New Graduates on the 3 Human Needs

It's the beginning of 2020 and I remember how difficult it was to adjust to my first year of clinical practice. There were a lot of things to learn, many late hours, and we were often faced with many uncertainties. New graduates will find that the first year of their working career quite challenging, and there will be many, many readjustments in order to keep our physical, mental, and social health in good shape. I with my brother Tom(Dentist), a collaboration with HealthProXchange, explore here the 3 human needs and how these are important for new graduates to be aware and try to fulfil them. The 3 human needs are: 1 Need for stability, security, safety and control 2 Need for connection as we are all social beings 3 Need for growth, newness and variety Like water for trees, if one or more needs are not met, stress will be the likely outcome. If a tree gets sunlight, nutrients and water, it will be more likely to thrive. Reference: 1 Maslow hierarchy of needs 2 Rogerian Psychology 3 Humanistic Psychology (If you are a health professional, consider joining our closed Facebook Forum via links on our website

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

What is forgiveness and how to forgive

As a family Doctor, I see many folks who are struggling with the past, and the past has a significant impact on their emotional wellbeing. They can’t seem to let go of the past. It’s is extremely difficult, almost impossible for them. Due to the biopsychosocial model of health, poor mental health then leads to poor relationships and physical health. See my short video on biopsychosocial here. 

Without knowing what forgiveness is, it can be hard to know how to forgive.  So what is forgiveness?

Forgiveness requires full acceptance of what is IS. It’s not simply an intellectual thing, but also an emotional one. If one is in intellectual acceptance, one may have logically accepted it but emotionally, may still feel angry and resentful.  If one is fully in acceptance, one will feel at peace with it. 

Part of learning how to accept is knowing the difference between fusion and defusion. Here is a short video on fusion and defusion ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy). 

Saturday, January 11, 2020

Thought of the day on relationships

“Fight” with anger, frustration, or criticism, and “flight” with sadness or withdrawal, are often very instinctive when we feel disconnected, unloved or uncared for. This often makes things worse but a very human thing to do. There is another way. 

Consider to reconnect when disconnected.

Check out our post on How to connect again in your relationships

Thursday, January 9, 2020

Simple message on vulnerabilities and acceptance

‪Simply no one is perfect. Once we can accept that, we become less vulnerable. When we are faced with criticism for our weaknesses, we may get stressed and go into fight or flight mode. We may want to avoid and run away. We may want to defend, fight or argue back. Sometimes, it maybe best to simply surrender and accept that it is what it is. 

Monday, January 6, 2020

Short video on fixing anger at the core rather than on the surface

As a family Doctor, it is not uncommon for me to see folks with anger issues, and this can have a significant impact on their relationship with their families, partner, spouse, children, friends, and the people they work with. It is important to understand that underlying anger, we may find fear and anxiety, and underlying anxiety, we may find loneliness and disconnection. Loneliness or disconnection is the primary emotion. Anger is on the surface. Once we can address the disconnection at the primary level, then it may lead to less fear and anxiety, and then less anger.
So the main message here is to acknowledge and fix the problem of anger at the core rather on the surface level. Understanding primary, secondary and tertiary emotion is a very important part of emotional literacy, which will help one to process emotion, and to better manage one's relationship with others.

Sunday, December 29, 2019

Short video of the "Perfectionist Trap" and how to get out of it!

As a Family Doctor, I see many patients with stress as part of their overall health issues. The ones most vulnerable are the folks who have these 3 characteristics from my observation over the last 21 years of my clinical practice. They often.... 1 Have a perfectionistic nature with very, very high standards. 2 They are often very self critical rather than self reflective. (Please watch my other video on the difference between self reflective and self critical 3 They often have a fear of failure. This is a short video for raising awareness on this important issue and a chance for me to share some simples tips on how to improve this. TIPS: 1 Embrace your perfectionism and high standards BUT 2 Be self kind, self compassionate, self reflective rather than self critical 3 Approach life's failures like playing Angry Birds. The more we fail, the more we learn, and the better we get.

Saturday, December 28, 2019

Short video on my incidental YouTubing journey to improve people's mental health

As a family Doctor, I teach a lot of my patients about incidental exercise and incidental mindfulness. Incidental exercise is where we incorporate what we do everyday including chores as a form of exercise. When we park our cars, we can park the car further away so that we can increase our walking as exercise. When we perform house chores or working in the garden, we frame it as a form of exercise. It is practical and pragmatic. It reduces barriers to take action. As I love to share ideas around emotional literacy and emotional processing to improve people's mental health and wellbeing, I have decided to trial incidental YouTubing and incorporate it into my work life. It will make it more practical and achievable. Let's see how that goes........

Sunday, December 22, 2019

Short video on self esteem......How do you actually measure it and how this can be changed.

Poor self esteem can have a significant impact on one's emotional, social, and physical health, so knowing more about it can be advantageous. Many may not have the emotional literacy to know how they measure their self esteem, and how they can change that perhaps. We will explore in this video on how to be more aware, and how we can adopt newer and more helpful ways of measuring one's sense of self worth or significance.

Thursday, December 12, 2019

Short video on how to approach and help children with behavioural concerns

As a Family Doctor, it is very common for me to see parents who are concerned about their children's mood and behaviours. This can cause a lot of stress for the family. In this video, I have outlined a simple approach on how to assess these sort of problems, and discussed a simple framework on how we can assess and find ways to help these families and their children. I often describe it as the "What, Why, and How to improve" approach.