Saturday, February 22, 2020

Limiting beliefs... Review and challenge them regularly

Limiting beliefs can be helpful or helped us to be safe at some point in our lives, but they can also limit us in the here and now.

Examples of limiting beliefs are...

  • I am not good enough
  • I am significant only if I achieve
  • I am significant only if I look good
  • I can’t do this 
  • I am not good at this
  • I am useless
  • Nobody loves me
  • People will leave me in the end
  • You can’t trust people
  • Things have to be done perfectly or not at all
  • If you do something wrong, you must be punished 

As Family Doctors, we try and help people review these limiting beliefs regularly, and challenge, defuse or detach from them if it does not serve a good purpose for us anymore.

Friday, February 14, 2020

How to create more inner harmony through Acceptance Commitment Therapy ACT

When we are able to be true to who we are, we have much inner harmony. When we are unable to be who we are and our authentic selves, there is much inner disharmony.

So in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we help patients to define what their values are and take committed actions congruent with those values in order to create more inner harmony.

Sunday, February 9, 2020

Short video.... How fearful should you be about the coronavirus?

I think with anything new, unpredictable, and potentially life threatening like the coronavirus infection, it is normal to feel fearful and scared. Having said that, too much fear can lead to panic, which can lead to unhelpful responses and actions. Too little fear also be a problem too. It can lead to complacency resulting in the problem potentially getting much worse. So in summary, one has to find the balance between having to much fear versus too little fear. Having a healthy level of fear around the coronavirus outbreak is probably a good thing in order to motivate us to take appropriate actions to prevent further spread of the disease.

Monday, January 20, 2020

Tips for New Graduates on the 3 Human Needs

It's the beginning of 2020 and I remember how difficult it was to adjust to my first year of clinical practice. There were a lot of things to learn, many late hours, and we were often faced with many uncertainties. New graduates will find that the first year of their working career quite challenging, and there will be many, many readjustments in order to keep our physical, mental, and social health in good shape. I with my brother Tom(Dentist), a collaboration with HealthProXchange, explore here the 3 human needs and how these are important for new graduates to be aware and try to fulfil them. The 3 human needs are: 1 Need for stability, security, safety and control 2 Need for connection as we are all social beings 3 Need for growth, newness and variety Like water for trees, if one or more needs are not met, stress will be the likely outcome. If a tree gets sunlight, nutrients and water, it will be more likely to thrive. Reference: 1 Maslow hierarchy of needs 2 Rogerian Psychology 3 Humanistic Psychology (If you are a health professional, consider joining our closed Facebook Forum via links on our website

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

What is forgiveness and how to forgive

As a family Doctor, I see many folks who are struggling with the past, and the past has a significant impact on their emotional wellbeing. They can’t seem to let go of the past. It’s is extremely difficult, almost impossible for them. Due to the biopsychosocial model of health, poor mental health then leads to poor relationships and physical health. See my short video on biopsychosocial here. 

Without knowing what forgiveness is, it can be hard to know how to forgive.  So what is forgiveness?

Forgiveness requires full acceptance of what is IS. It’s not simply an intellectual thing, but also an emotional one. If one is in intellectual acceptance, one may have logically accepted it but emotionally, may still feel angry and resentful.  If one is fully in acceptance, one will feel at peace with it. 

Part of learning how to accept is knowing the difference between fusion and defusion. Here is a short video on fusion and defusion ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy). 

Saturday, January 11, 2020

Thought of the day on relationships

“Fight” with anger, frustration, or criticism, and “flight” with sadness or withdrawal, are often very instinctive when we feel disconnected, unloved or uncared for. This often makes things worse but a very human thing to do. There is another way. 

Consider to reconnect when disconnected.

Check out our post on How to connect again in your relationships

Thursday, January 9, 2020

Simple message on vulnerabilities and acceptance

‪Simply no one is perfect. Once we can accept that, we become less vulnerable. When we are faced with criticism for our weaknesses, we may get stressed and go into fight or flight mode. We may want to avoid and run away. We may want to defend, fight or argue back. Sometimes, it maybe best to simply surrender and accept that it is what it is. 

Monday, January 6, 2020

Short video on fixing anger at the core rather than on the surface

As a family Doctor, it is not uncommon for me to see folks with anger issues, and this can have a significant impact on their relationship with their families, partner, spouse, children, friends, and the people they work with. It is important to understand that underlying anger, we may find fear and anxiety, and underlying anxiety, we may find loneliness and disconnection. Loneliness or disconnection is the primary emotion. Anger is on the surface. Once we can address the disconnection at the primary level, then it may lead to less fear and anxiety, and then less anger.
So the main message here is to acknowledge and fix the problem of anger at the core rather on the surface level. Understanding primary, secondary and tertiary emotion is a very important part of emotional literacy, which will help one to process emotion, and to better manage one's relationship with others.

Sunday, December 29, 2019

Short video of the "Perfectionist Trap" and how to get out of it!

As a Family Doctor, I see many patients with stress as part of their overall health issues. The ones most vulnerable are the folks who have these 3 characteristics from my observation over the last 21 years of my clinical practice. They often.... 1 Have a perfectionistic nature with very, very high standards. 2 They are often very self critical rather than self reflective. (Please watch my other video on the difference between self reflective and self critical 3 They often have a fear of failure. This is a short video for raising awareness on this important issue and a chance for me to share some simples tips on how to improve this. TIPS: 1 Embrace your perfectionism and high standards BUT 2 Be self kind, self compassionate, self reflective rather than self critical 3 Approach life's failures like playing Angry Birds. The more we fail, the more we learn, and the better we get.