Friday, October 9, 2020

Inner communication vs outer communication

When we think about our communication, we can focus on our “outer communication/dialogue”, or our “inner communication/dialogue”.

So let’s talk about our inner communication and internal dialogue.

Some folks may have inner dialogues that are not as “refined” as their outer dialogue. It can be less tactful, less caring, less compassionate, more critical, more repetitive, more impulsive, and often less well timed.  

So why is that?

Perhaps we constantly get feedback from others for our outer dialogue, but not so much for our inner ones. If we call someone stupid, we might get unfriended. Calling ourself stupid, and we think we can get away with it.

In counseling, we can help our patients with that missing feedback. We reflect, explore, and help our patients gain “constructive feedback” on those inner dialogues.

Better statements may lead to better outcomes, and better questions may lead to better answers and possibilities.

Statements like “I can’t do this”, or questions like, “Why are people so nasty”, may lead us down an unhelpful path. There may be better alternatives. “What is good about this problem”, is one example of a better question, leading to better answers and more possibilities.

The question is, can we all invest more time and focus on improving our inner communication and “self talk”? 

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