Thursday, August 27, 2020

How to “shift gears” when we ruminate on bad thoughts and fears

Have you ever had the experience of being stuck inside your head, ruminating about the past or worrying about the future?

How can we help you to shift gears?  This is a metaphor I often use to help in this situation. 

When we are ruminating about a past or anticipating a negative future event in an unhelpful way, we are living inside our heads. This is what we would call the “inside head experience”.  Introversion is another term, if you like that term better. We are now “stuck in that gear”. 

To shift from that gear, we must first use our “clutch” to detach from that gear.  Defusing, detaching, distancing or unhooking from thoughts is just like that clutch in the car. But this is not enough. If one purely focus on defusing and unhooking from thoughts, then it’s like pressing on the clutch and releasing it again back to the original gear. 

Once the clutch is pressed, one must then go into neutral “dropping anchor”, be present in the five sense experience rather than the “inside head” experience. 

Then shift gears to value based actions. What’s the quality of life that you want to create?  Where do you want to go despite the challenges. How can you live life true to who you are and your values?

One must coordinate all the elements above in order to “shift gears” more effectively. 

The challenge is that many of us may not know how to operate the clutch and gears properly inside our heads.  

The wonderful thing is that this is a learnable skill, just like learning how to drive a car albeit a bit more difficult perhaps.  

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