Saturday, August 29, 2020

Shame is the granddaddy of all uncomfortable feelings

The emotion of shame (I am bad/not good enough) is the granddaddy of all uncomfortable feelings. 

I think folks with unhelpful feelings of shame is very common but nobody really presents to us with....

“Hi Doc. I have unhelpful feelings of shame.”

Often the presenting complaint is...  I am stressed out, burnt out, anxious, frustrated or I am angry all the time”. 

Folks with primary emotions of shame invariably has associated sense of disconnection leading to fear/anxiety, leading to the fight/flight/freeze responses OR distractions like emotional eating, which then creates more shame/disconnection. 

First thing is to step back and see that at the primary level and create a safe and compassionate space to talk about that in order to defuse or “zoom out” from that. Not easy because shame IS a really “yukky” feeling!

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