Wednesday, June 14, 2017

The Climate, Seasons and the Weather of Relationships

I sometimes think relationships in terms of climate, seasons and the weather of the day.

We might have a storm but that will come and go.  It does not change the underlying climate or fundamentals of that relationship.

Even a cold winter will warm up eventually.

I think we can get into a slippery slope when we are so focused on the weather of the day, and forget to step back and remind ourselves of the bigger picture, the climate of the relationship.  Helpful things that we can do are:

  1. Be present.
  2. Remind ourselves of why we got together in the first place and whether those fundamentals are still there. 
  3. Remind ourselves that we care for each other no matter what, and our promise/vows for each other.
  4. Have the commitment to give each other unconditional positive regard.  Look past there current behaviours and see the positive intent behind it and work with that.
  5. Try to understand and acknowledge the other person's feelings and position and ask, "Can you tell me more so that I can understand?" instead of being critical or defensive.
  6. Listen to understand rather than to respond.
  7. Turns towards rather than away.
  8. Connect through spending time with the other person, acknowledgment, physical connection and helping each other out.  Be kind.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.