Wednesday, August 11, 2021

Self-care is critical in order to look after others more effectively

It’s really hard for many folks to balance the schema of “self-sacrifice” vs the schema of “entitlement”. 

I think it’s partly because folks may not be aware of these two opposing forces within all of us.

It’s the inner conflict between “focusing on the needs/wants of others” vs “focusing on our own needs/wants”. Too much of one over the other will cause problems. Too much of both at the same time will cause lots of problems too.

During times of stress, “entitlement” will become stronger. It’s natural. It’s a “self preservation” mode.

The problem is, for those with high “self sacrifice” tendencies, if we don’t look after ourselves well first, stress and entitlement will kick in. This may make us less effective in our role.

We simply can’t give what we don’t have.

So what’s the main point?

For those who are in a role of looking after others, looking after ourselves well biopsychosocially first is critical. If we are well, giving care to others will be easier, and with much less inner conflict. If not, it can be painfully difficult.

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