Thursday, June 16, 2011

Negative Self Talk in Children

If you have children, be attentative to their internal self talk.  Use your intuition to pick up on these internal negative self talk, for example, "It is all my fault", or "Iam useless", or "Nobody likes me." These non helpful self talk overtime can lead to a core belief of, "Iam not good enough", and when coupled with anxiety, this can lead to a fear of being judged.

Becoming more aware of this is a bit of a skill, but like any skills, it can be learnt over time.

Be a coach to your child, and help to turn those not so helpful thoughts into something more helpful.  For your child, as it might be difficult for them to conceptualized negative and positive thoughts, so you can call them red thoughts (ie negative thoughts) and blue thoughts (ie positive thoughts).  Red thoughts and blue thoughts are used in the Fun Friend Programs by Prof Paula Barrett.  This is the best time to help them before the thoughts become more entrenched into a deeper core belief.

Remember also that children learn subconsciously from our own actions, and hence, be a role model for them.  Be aware of our own negative/unhelpful self talk and change them to more positive/helpful ones.


  1. Brilliant post. And I like how you coordinate a book that goes with the topic. Well done. I'm going to put you on my psychology links as a resource!

  2. Hi Deb,

    Thanks for your comment. Iam in the process of learning how to add you to my links as Iam new to his whole blogging experience.

    Dr Vin
    Family Doctor @


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